And guess what? I'm still alive! Which is not to say that it hasn't been an adjustment, because it certainly has. It's been more than eight years since I got my first cell phone, and I've had one within arms reach nearly 24 hours a day since then. That's roughly 72,000 hours with a cell phone. In spite of all my big talk about getting rid of my phone, I have to admit that I was a little nervous.
There have certainly been some inconveniences involved. Perhaps the saddest thing so far was that I didn't get to talk to any of my family on my birthday. I left home extra early that day and then didn't get home until after 9 that night. If I'd had my phone, I would have spoken to most of them that day. The other thing that I find myself missing is texting Margo throughout the day.
The benefits have definitely outweighed the inconveniences, though. One of my motivations for getting rid of my phone was that I felt that I was using the phone as a way to distance myself from the people I care about most. Texting can be an efficient way of getting or communicating information, but it bypasses all of the relationship-maintaining small talk that happens when you are actually talking to someone. I have definitely been talking to the people I love more. I've spent somewhere upwards of five hours on the phone (or skype) this week, and that was all during the week.
The other thing that I've noticed is that I used my phone a lot to keep me occupied while waiting for things (like the microwave, the train, the commercials to be over) and not having the phone has forced me to be more present wherever I am. I've also made it my goal to spend my time waiting for the microwave at work doing squats and lunges. Seems like a healthier alternative.
The next thing to tackle is my computer use. I think that I've replaced much of my phone use with the laptop. It's been especially bad since Margo has been out of town. My goal starting tomorrow is to spend 30 minutes or less on the computer in the evenings after work. The only exception being if I am cooking from a recipe on the computer or am following directions for a craft project on the computer. Hopefully by putting it out there to you all, I will be more accountable for that commitment.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The Miserable Seahawks Game (or Why I Prefer Watching Football at Home)
So, Margo and I went to the Seattle Seahawks game on October 30, in part because it was one of my goals and in part because I've turned into a major football fan, apparently. It was a cool, cloudy day, with a chance of rain. Probably the best part of the day was the van/train ride there and back, because we got to ride the train to the game with our friend Mike and his daughter Mia. We also got a ride to the light rail station from Mia's mom, Heather, and her three week old baby sister Paige. We didn't get to sit with them, because they had really good tickets and we had not such great tickets. Because NFL tickets are very expensive.
We apparently also sat on the wrong side of the field. This happened primarily because we did not really know, having never been to a pro football game before, that there might be a wrong side of the field. But the wrong side of the field was filled with drunk and obnoxious Cincinnati Bengals fans. Who got progressively drunker and more obnoxious as they continued drinking and the Bengals killed the Seahawks. It was sad. And it was cold. 50 degrees doesn't sound that cold, especially when you're from as cold a place as Eastern Montana can be, but when you're just sitting in it for five hours, it's COLD. Here we are, being cold together, huddled together for warmth. And inner strength to keep me from kicking the ass of the obnoxious Bengals fans down the row.
Also, the stairs up to our seats were so steep, and our seats were up so high, that I purposely drank as few fluids as possible so that I did not have to go to the bathroom for the duration of the game, because I was not going to walk up and down those stairs again.
Here is the view from our seats:
One of the best things about going to the actual game was the Seahawks band, Blue Thunder. They were interesting and enthusiastic. One of the most disturbing things about the game was how little the Sea Gals (what a ridiculous damned name) were wearing, especially given the temperature and potential for rain.
Case in point:
I think football games are similar to concerts for me. I love football, and I love watching football, much as I love certain bands and listening to their music. But putting up with the other incredibly obnoxious and intoxicated people who also love football, and love some of the bands that I love (Def Leppard, Nickelback, etc.) is not worth the benefit of enjoying these things live.
So I think I'll be watching my football on the television from now on. There are no drunk and obnoxious people in my home, nor is it 50 degrees in my home. In addition, I can actually understand what the announcers are saying and follow what's happening in the game. Certainly, if I were to be given free tickets, I would probably go again. But I'm certainly not going to shell out the kind of cash required to buy football tickets again. We could have purchased one and a half round trip train tickets to Portland, OR or Vancouver, BC for that.
I am glad that I went, though, even if it wasn't super fun. I also have realized that I need more football buddies. I find that I really want to talk about the games when I back to work on Mondays, but I don't really have anyone at work to talk about football with. I guess that's one of the drawbacks of working on an inpatient psychiatry unit. This sort of work doesn't necessarily tend to attract the sort of people who watch football, apparently. Which I know is a bit of a generalization, but it seems to be holding up. So I'll keep asking around, to find out if anyone else watched the really good Chargers-Packers game, or the exciting Ravens-Steelers game, or the riveting Bears-Eagles game. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I'm Keeping My Phone for Two More Weeks (or, Why I Hate My Cell Carrier)
I hope you'll give me credit for trying. We hopped into the Boost Mobile store last night to pick up a phone for Margo and port her number over from BS&S (a nickname, if you will), which was successful. We decided to go with Boost because they don't have contracts and the longer you stay with them the lower your bill goes. That way, if I decide I really can't live without a cell phone, I can always jump over to Boost Mobile without having to change plans and extend an already ridiculous contract.
Speaking of ridiculous contracts, I called my cell carrier, which is earning it's nickname from me of BS&S. I spoke with a pleasant lady who clearly thought I was lying when I said that I was not changing to another carrier, and just wanted to terminate my service. To that end, she informed me that if I wanted to keep my phone number (which I am a little sad to lose, having had this number for 8+ years), I would have to have an active line to transfer it to/from. I confirmed that I was aware of this fact. She then offered to reduce the price of my plan, and also offered me a $30 credit for 3 months to stay. She asked if I was leaving because my service was too expensive, and I reiterated that I just did not want to have a cell phone any longer. To which she said, and I quote, "Everybody has a cell phone." She went on to acknowledge that it would be quieter not to have a cell phone.
She told me that my service would end on 11/11/11 (kind of fun, in spite of my irritation) and it didn't really sink in right away that that was more than two weeks away. She went on to inform me that I could transfer my plan to someone else before that date if there was anyone else who wanted to take over my plan (which I suppose might be attractive because I still have the no-longer-available $30 unlimited data plan). I assured her that I did not have anyone who wanted to take over the plan. I then asked her if it was possible to turn off my service prior to the end of the billing cycle. She assured me that it was, but then told me that THEY DON'T PRO-RATE YOUR BILL so I may as well keep it on until 11/11/11 anyway because I'd be paying for it either way. Which I guess means that we are paying for Margo's service as well through 11/11/11. Bastards.
I don't remember this being the way that other cell carriers I've used have worked. In my memory, when you terminate your service, you also terminate your financial obligation related to your service, regardless of where in the billing cycle that termination might fall. So, even if I were not already convinced to ditch my cell, this would have pushed me over the edge. I can't imagine a circumstance in the future in which I would use this cell carrier again for this sole reason, not to mention the outrageous cost and the dropped calls. So, good work, BS&S.
The upshot, however, is that I still have a cell phone until 11/11/11. I could have shut it off today, but I'm not willing to pay them for something I'm not using. Also, I've got 4000 rollover minutes to use between now and 11/11/11, so if you want to chat on my dime (or their dime), let me know. Or if you want to take over my contract, let me know that too.
On a side note, I'm making parsley-walnut pesto tonight with the ridiculous amount of parsley we got from our CSA this week. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Speaking of ridiculous contracts, I called my cell carrier, which is earning it's nickname from me of BS&S. I spoke with a pleasant lady who clearly thought I was lying when I said that I was not changing to another carrier, and just wanted to terminate my service. To that end, she informed me that if I wanted to keep my phone number (which I am a little sad to lose, having had this number for 8+ years), I would have to have an active line to transfer it to/from. I confirmed that I was aware of this fact. She then offered to reduce the price of my plan, and also offered me a $30 credit for 3 months to stay. She asked if I was leaving because my service was too expensive, and I reiterated that I just did not want to have a cell phone any longer. To which she said, and I quote, "Everybody has a cell phone." She went on to acknowledge that it would be quieter not to have a cell phone.
She told me that my service would end on 11/11/11 (kind of fun, in spite of my irritation) and it didn't really sink in right away that that was more than two weeks away. She went on to inform me that I could transfer my plan to someone else before that date if there was anyone else who wanted to take over my plan (which I suppose might be attractive because I still have the no-longer-available $30 unlimited data plan). I assured her that I did not have anyone who wanted to take over the plan. I then asked her if it was possible to turn off my service prior to the end of the billing cycle. She assured me that it was, but then told me that THEY DON'T PRO-RATE YOUR BILL so I may as well keep it on until 11/11/11 anyway because I'd be paying for it either way. Which I guess means that we are paying for Margo's service as well through 11/11/11. Bastards.
I don't remember this being the way that other cell carriers I've used have worked. In my memory, when you terminate your service, you also terminate your financial obligation related to your service, regardless of where in the billing cycle that termination might fall. So, even if I were not already convinced to ditch my cell, this would have pushed me over the edge. I can't imagine a circumstance in the future in which I would use this cell carrier again for this sole reason, not to mention the outrageous cost and the dropped calls. So, good work, BS&S.
The upshot, however, is that I still have a cell phone until 11/11/11. I could have shut it off today, but I'm not willing to pay them for something I'm not using. Also, I've got 4000 rollover minutes to use between now and 11/11/11, so if you want to chat on my dime (or their dime), let me know. Or if you want to take over my contract, let me know that too.
On a side note, I'm making parsley-walnut pesto tonight with the ridiculous amount of parsley we got from our CSA this week. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Monday, October 24, 2011
I've almost ditched my phone and other almost-updates
1. My home phone was hooked up last week, and I purchased a phone (two, actually) and an answering machine. The plan now is to get Margo a new cell phone tomorrow and end my service with AT&T on Wednesday. Keep me honest, dear readers.
2. We saw our dear friend Lisa George and her son and two step-children at the end of August. It was wonderful, and made me want to hang out with her more. Sadly, at least in terms of her proximity (which we were not taking any advantage of at all), things in her life changed significantly earlier this month, and she moved back to Montana. Which has inspired my own nostalgia for Montana (or Iowa, or wherever I could live in a small town, quite frankly). More on that later, perhaps.
3. Hiking has been a bust this year. We were so busy this summer that we hardly got any hiking in at all. We had a couple of nice hikes (Little Si, which nearly killed us; Squak Mountain), but hiking largely fell by the wayside.
4. Playing the Wii every week has also fallen by the wayside. Unless, of course, watching Doctor Who on Netflix Streaming counts as playing the Wii. (and can I tell you how much I love Doctor Who? I have a new board on Pinterest devoted to Dr. Who geekery)
5. Trying new recipes every week. I've tried a bunch of new recipes. Whether I've tried one every week is debatable. Maybe on average. We bought a new programmable slow cooker, and I have made some nasty shit in that thing. Recipes that look good on first blush, but result in the wasting of enormous quantities of food and the eating of cold cereal for dinner. One recent positive standout, however, were the batch of snickerdoodle pumpkin cream cheese sandwich cookies that Margo and I recently collaborated on. Those were an unmitigated success. Also, Margo has been cooking more, which is great, but reduces my opportunities to use new recipes.
6. I have no update on the countertops, much to Margo's chagrin. We keep spending the money in the home improvements/fun savings account on fun and travel rather than on home improvements.
7. We are heading to the Seahawks-Bengals game on Sunday!!! I'm pretty stoked. Also trying not to think about the miserable fantasy football season I'm having this year. I'm 1-6 and have had the low score in the league in two weeks. Quite a fall from last season, where I actually did pretty well. Apparently that beginner's luck only lasts a year, regardless of the degree of your naivete.
8. I haven't gotten a pedicure in months. My pedicure buddy has two small children and has had a hard time getting away for a pedicure. And I haven't had the impetus to go on my own. And Margo hates to have her feet touched, so I'm on my own.
9. We are trying out the Tahoma Farms CSA through Terra Organics. I'm really liking Terra Organics and the Tahoma Farms CSA. The CSA will end this week or next, and then we have the option of a number of other organic produce boxes. Two appealing options are the Pacific Northwest box and a build-your-own option as well. Another nice feature is that they deliver. We come home on Tuesday evenings to a box of organic produce.
10. No dinner parties as of yet, but we are hosting a brunch potluck this weekend. I'm thinking that might count.
11. We actually went to Zoo Tunes twice this summer. Once to see Lucinda Williams (who was significantly less drunk than the other time I saw her) and once to see Brandi Carlile, who totally rocked. Things I learned: we need some of those low chairs for outside concerts and I really don't like being out on weeknights.
2. We saw our dear friend Lisa George and her son and two step-children at the end of August. It was wonderful, and made me want to hang out with her more. Sadly, at least in terms of her proximity (which we were not taking any advantage of at all), things in her life changed significantly earlier this month, and she moved back to Montana. Which has inspired my own nostalgia for Montana (or Iowa, or wherever I could live in a small town, quite frankly). More on that later, perhaps.
3. Hiking has been a bust this year. We were so busy this summer that we hardly got any hiking in at all. We had a couple of nice hikes (Little Si, which nearly killed us; Squak Mountain), but hiking largely fell by the wayside.
4. Playing the Wii every week has also fallen by the wayside. Unless, of course, watching Doctor Who on Netflix Streaming counts as playing the Wii. (and can I tell you how much I love Doctor Who? I have a new board on Pinterest devoted to Dr. Who geekery)
5. Trying new recipes every week. I've tried a bunch of new recipes. Whether I've tried one every week is debatable. Maybe on average. We bought a new programmable slow cooker, and I have made some nasty shit in that thing. Recipes that look good on first blush, but result in the wasting of enormous quantities of food and the eating of cold cereal for dinner. One recent positive standout, however, were the batch of snickerdoodle pumpkin cream cheese sandwich cookies that Margo and I recently collaborated on. Those were an unmitigated success. Also, Margo has been cooking more, which is great, but reduces my opportunities to use new recipes.
6. I have no update on the countertops, much to Margo's chagrin. We keep spending the money in the home improvements/fun savings account on fun and travel rather than on home improvements.
7. We are heading to the Seahawks-Bengals game on Sunday!!! I'm pretty stoked. Also trying not to think about the miserable fantasy football season I'm having this year. I'm 1-6 and have had the low score in the league in two weeks. Quite a fall from last season, where I actually did pretty well. Apparently that beginner's luck only lasts a year, regardless of the degree of your naivete.
8. I haven't gotten a pedicure in months. My pedicure buddy has two small children and has had a hard time getting away for a pedicure. And I haven't had the impetus to go on my own. And Margo hates to have her feet touched, so I'm on my own.
9. We are trying out the Tahoma Farms CSA through Terra Organics. I'm really liking Terra Organics and the Tahoma Farms CSA. The CSA will end this week or next, and then we have the option of a number of other organic produce boxes. Two appealing options are the Pacific Northwest box and a build-your-own option as well. Another nice feature is that they deliver. We come home on Tuesday evenings to a box of organic produce.
10. No dinner parties as of yet, but we are hosting a brunch potluck this weekend. I'm thinking that might count.
11. We actually went to Zoo Tunes twice this summer. Once to see Lucinda Williams (who was significantly less drunk than the other time I saw her) and once to see Brandi Carlile, who totally rocked. Things I learned: we need some of those low chairs for outside concerts and I really don't like being out on weeknights.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sports Fan?
Any of you who have known me for any length of time prior to last fall know that I have never been an athlete. Nor have I ever been particularly interested in sports. The possible exception being the season that I spent as a manager for girls basketball in middle school for what was arguably the best team in the tri-state region. I also enjoyed attending the occasional high school basketball game while I was still in high school. Then I spent a brief period of time trying really hard to enjoy baseball when I first fell in love with Margo (she was a Seattle Mariners fan before we ever moved to Seattle).
Whether you knew this about me or not, you may have noticed that I have a couple of sports-related goals on my list of goals. One of my goals is to attend a Seattle Storm game at least once a season, and the other is to attend a Seattle Seahawks game.
Fortunately, I remembered that I needed to attend a Storm game this year about a week and a half before the end of the regular season. Margo and I went to a game on 9/9/11, where the Storm played the Phoenix Mercury in the last game of the regular season. I had been to a game once before, back when I was in grad school, but Margo had never been to a game. I knew what a treat we were in for, but Margo had no idea. The game was really, really awesome. The Storm are the defending WNBA champions and the Phoenix Mercury is a really excellent team as well. And Storm fans are extremely enthusiastic and quite loud. One of the game-unrelated sources of entertainment for me was watching the little baby dykes cruising each other in the cheap seats. It reminded me of the purely social-sexual function of attending high school football games as an adolescent.
One of the funny things about the Storm game is that Margo didn't really want to go in the first place. Before the game started, she turned to me and said something to the effect of, "I don't really even like basketball." She had a wonderful time in spite of herself (as did I). In fact, she had such a good time that we are discussing the possibility of buying season tickets for next year (or going in on them with another couple we are friends with). Not to mention the fact that she has asked me to buy her a Katie Smith jersey approximately 78 times since we went to the game.
I am also, as much as I am loathe to admit it, a recent football fan. I blame my younger brother (Hi Matt!). He invited Margo and I to join his Fantasy Football league last year, which we did. I did quite well in the beginning, in spite of having a strange draft strategy. I figured that I didn't know enough about football to try to have a football-related strategy, so I drafted only players from places I had been that didn't have objectionable criminal records. I wound up with a pretty solid team and watched a lot of football in the process. I was actually sad when the football season ended.
I'm in the same league again this year, and used a similar draft strategy. It's the second week of the season, and so far so good. Now, I'm trying to actually learn more about the game. I've been reading more game analysis and Margo just bought me a book about football. And, believe it or not, I just asked for Madden for the Wii for my birthday. So it follows that I should attend at least one NFL game, and since we live in Seattle, it will be a Seahawks game. In spite of the fact that they were brutally slaughtered by the Steelers today. Anyway, we have tickets for 10/30/11, and I'm looking forward to going.
Whether you knew this about me or not, you may have noticed that I have a couple of sports-related goals on my list of goals. One of my goals is to attend a Seattle Storm game at least once a season, and the other is to attend a Seattle Seahawks game.
Fortunately, I remembered that I needed to attend a Storm game this year about a week and a half before the end of the regular season. Margo and I went to a game on 9/9/11, where the Storm played the Phoenix Mercury in the last game of the regular season. I had been to a game once before, back when I was in grad school, but Margo had never been to a game. I knew what a treat we were in for, but Margo had no idea. The game was really, really awesome. The Storm are the defending WNBA champions and the Phoenix Mercury is a really excellent team as well. And Storm fans are extremely enthusiastic and quite loud. One of the game-unrelated sources of entertainment for me was watching the little baby dykes cruising each other in the cheap seats. It reminded me of the purely social-sexual function of attending high school football games as an adolescent.
One of the funny things about the Storm game is that Margo didn't really want to go in the first place. Before the game started, she turned to me and said something to the effect of, "I don't really even like basketball." She had a wonderful time in spite of herself (as did I). In fact, she had such a good time that we are discussing the possibility of buying season tickets for next year (or going in on them with another couple we are friends with). Not to mention the fact that she has asked me to buy her a Katie Smith jersey approximately 78 times since we went to the game.
I am also, as much as I am loathe to admit it, a recent football fan. I blame my younger brother (Hi Matt!). He invited Margo and I to join his Fantasy Football league last year, which we did. I did quite well in the beginning, in spite of having a strange draft strategy. I figured that I didn't know enough about football to try to have a football-related strategy, so I drafted only players from places I had been that didn't have objectionable criminal records. I wound up with a pretty solid team and watched a lot of football in the process. I was actually sad when the football season ended.
I'm in the same league again this year, and used a similar draft strategy. It's the second week of the season, and so far so good. Now, I'm trying to actually learn more about the game. I've been reading more game analysis and Margo just bought me a book about football. And, believe it or not, I just asked for Madden for the Wii for my birthday. So it follows that I should attend at least one NFL game, and since we live in Seattle, it will be a Seahawks game. In spite of the fact that they were brutally slaughtered by the Steelers today. Anyway, we have tickets for 10/30/11, and I'm looking forward to going.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Better Off?
I recently read Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology (Beth, I think you'd really like it and thought about you frequently while reading it). As you may know, one of my goals is to ditch my iPhone, which I'm getting quite close to doing (the contract is up this month). The primary reason that I decided that I wanted to get rid of the thing is because my attachment to/dependence on it has been making me uncomfortable for some time. I spend way too much time on it, all too frequently to the exclusion of engaging in actual life activities or connecting with the people most important to me. Ironically, I have much less deep and meaningful contact with my family and friends since acquiring the iPhone and much more superficial contact with a wider variety of people.
Reading Better Off has led me to an even broader evaluation of the relationship that I have with technology and whether it is actually improving my life. In that evaluation, I have begun to question whether I need to have a cell phone at all. I lived quite happily and successfully without one well into adulthood. I talked with my friends and family members on the phone with great regularity. If I wasn't home, people just didn't get to talk to me. I didn't have the immediate gratification of getting information I needed from people without engaging in the social niceties that may, in fact, have been solidifying and cementing our relationships. As some of you know, I posted something on Facebook asking for people's feedback on my potentially getting rid of my cellphone. Many people appeared horrified, some even comparing the idea to cutting off a limb. And it was, in part, the ferocity of the opposition that has helped me move towards getting rid of my cell phone altogether.
My plan is to ditch my cell phone in favor of a landline of some kind. Margo will keep her cell phone. Although she has come around to the idea of not having a smart phone, she's not quite on board with not having a cell phone at all. And it could come in handy in case of an emergency, I suppose.
I'm not sure what else will get the boot in my re-evaluation of my life. Facebook is on the table, although I really value the re-connections I've made with some people, particularly people from my hometown. I may just do a major downsizing on Facebook again. Google+ might go as well. It hasn't blown me away so far, but we'll see what happens.
One of the major points the author makes in Better Off is that manual labor can be more efficient and more enjoyable than using modern technology. I'm going to be looking around my home and seeing what I can do manually in lieu of relying on machines. I'd love to hear from you all if there are things you've started doing for yourself that you used to relegate to machines. And I'll keep you posted on my progress.
Reading Better Off has led me to an even broader evaluation of the relationship that I have with technology and whether it is actually improving my life. In that evaluation, I have begun to question whether I need to have a cell phone at all. I lived quite happily and successfully without one well into adulthood. I talked with my friends and family members on the phone with great regularity. If I wasn't home, people just didn't get to talk to me. I didn't have the immediate gratification of getting information I needed from people without engaging in the social niceties that may, in fact, have been solidifying and cementing our relationships. As some of you know, I posted something on Facebook asking for people's feedback on my potentially getting rid of my cellphone. Many people appeared horrified, some even comparing the idea to cutting off a limb. And it was, in part, the ferocity of the opposition that has helped me move towards getting rid of my cell phone altogether.
My plan is to ditch my cell phone in favor of a landline of some kind. Margo will keep her cell phone. Although she has come around to the idea of not having a smart phone, she's not quite on board with not having a cell phone at all. And it could come in handy in case of an emergency, I suppose.
I'm not sure what else will get the boot in my re-evaluation of my life. Facebook is on the table, although I really value the re-connections I've made with some people, particularly people from my hometown. I may just do a major downsizing on Facebook again. Google+ might go as well. It hasn't blown me away so far, but we'll see what happens.
One of the major points the author makes in Better Off is that manual labor can be more efficient and more enjoyable than using modern technology. I'm going to be looking around my home and seeing what I can do manually in lieu of relying on machines. I'd love to hear from you all if there are things you've started doing for yourself that you used to relegate to machines. And I'll keep you posted on my progress.
I'm Back. Hopefully it sticks this time.
Obviously, I should have written goal #40 a little more specifically, as in "Start a blog and update it consistently." I got a talking to from my little brother earlier this week while on a family camping trip (Hi, Matt!), so anyone who is still optimistic enough to be checking for updates has him to think. He said some very flattering things about the blog, and then castigated me for neglecting it for so long. And he's right, at least about my utter neglect of the blog. And it's not that I don't think about writing blog entries. In fact, I'm frequently composing them in my head. It's just that, at the end of the day, I can't bring myself to do it.
I think I can attribute some of my inactivity to a brief upsurge in depressive symptoms. Which is something that I have been having all kinds of internal debate about whether or not to post to my blog. Most of the people who are the very closest to me know that I've struggled with depression for most of my life. But this isn't something I've previously shared with the rest of the world. There are a lot of complicated reasons why that is the case, but the biggest reason is the stigma that is still attached to admitting that you have something as terrible and shameful as depression. As a mental health professional, I recognize the inanity of bowing to that stigma in my own personal life, but the fact remains. And as a mental health professional whose co-workers occasionally read my blog, I've been a little worried about putting it out there on the internet. But there it is. I have depression. To be more specific, Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent.
The last year has actually been pretty good. I've worked really hard to find the right combination of medications and activities to help me keep things under control. I've had a lot of help and support in finding the right tools and doing the work I need to do. But, unfortunately, that doesn't mean that I'm not subject to the occasional relapse in symptoms. And, oddly enough, when I start feeling bad, I stop doing a lot of the things that bring me satisfaction. Apparently blogging is among those things that goes when I'm feeling worse. But along with trying to get a couple of miles of walking in at least three or four times a week, I'm trying to get back in the saddle of working on the blog.
I think I can attribute some of my inactivity to a brief upsurge in depressive symptoms. Which is something that I have been having all kinds of internal debate about whether or not to post to my blog. Most of the people who are the very closest to me know that I've struggled with depression for most of my life. But this isn't something I've previously shared with the rest of the world. There are a lot of complicated reasons why that is the case, but the biggest reason is the stigma that is still attached to admitting that you have something as terrible and shameful as depression. As a mental health professional, I recognize the inanity of bowing to that stigma in my own personal life, but the fact remains. And as a mental health professional whose co-workers occasionally read my blog, I've been a little worried about putting it out there on the internet. But there it is. I have depression. To be more specific, Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent.
The last year has actually been pretty good. I've worked really hard to find the right combination of medications and activities to help me keep things under control. I've had a lot of help and support in finding the right tools and doing the work I need to do. But, unfortunately, that doesn't mean that I'm not subject to the occasional relapse in symptoms. And, oddly enough, when I start feeling bad, I stop doing a lot of the things that bring me satisfaction. Apparently blogging is among those things that goes when I'm feeling worse. But along with trying to get a couple of miles of walking in at least three or four times a week, I'm trying to get back in the saddle of working on the blog.
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