Better Off?

I recently read Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology (Beth, I think you'd really like it and thought about you frequently while reading it).  As you may know, one of my goals is to ditch my iPhone, which I'm getting quite close to doing (the contract is up this month).  The primary reason that I decided that I wanted to get rid of the thing is because my attachment to/dependence on it has been making me uncomfortable for some time.  I spend way too much time on it, all too frequently to the exclusion of engaging in actual life activities or connecting with the people most important to me.  Ironically, I have much less deep and meaningful contact with my family and friends since acquiring the iPhone and much more superficial contact with a wider variety of people. 

Reading Better Off has led me to an even broader evaluation of the relationship that I have with technology and whether it is actually improving my life.  In that evaluation, I have begun to question whether I need to have a cell phone at all.  I lived quite happily and successfully without one well into adulthood.  I talked with my friends and family members on the phone with great regularity.  If I wasn't home, people just didn't get to talk to me.  I didn't have the immediate gratification of getting information I needed from people without engaging in the social niceties that may, in fact, have been solidifying and cementing our relationships.  As some of you know, I posted something on Facebook asking for people's feedback on my potentially getting rid of my cellphone.  Many people appeared horrified, some even comparing the idea to cutting off a limb.  And it was, in part, the ferocity of the opposition that has helped me move towards getting rid of my cell phone altogether.

My plan is to ditch my cell phone in favor of a landline of some kind.  Margo will keep her cell phone.  Although she has come around to the idea of not having a smart phone, she's not quite on board with not having a cell phone at all.  And it could come in handy in case of an emergency, I suppose.

I'm not sure what else will get the boot in my re-evaluation of my life.  Facebook is on the table, although I really value the re-connections I've made with some people, particularly people from my hometown.  I may just do a major downsizing on Facebook again.  Google+ might go as well.  It hasn't blown me away so far, but we'll see what happens.

One of the major points the author makes in Better Off is that manual labor can be more efficient and more enjoyable than using modern technology.  I'm going to be looking around my home and seeing what I can do manually in lieu of relying on machines.  I'd love to hear from you all if there are things you've started doing for yourself that you used to relegate to machines.  And I'll keep you posted on my progress.

I'm Back. Hopefully it sticks this time.

Obviously, I should have written goal #40 a little more specifically, as in "Start a blog and update it consistently."  I got a talking to from my little brother earlier this week while on a family camping trip (Hi, Matt!), so anyone who is still optimistic enough to be checking for updates has him to think.  He said some very flattering things about the blog, and then castigated me for neglecting it for so long.  And he's right, at least about my utter neglect of the blog.  And it's not that I don't think about writing blog entries.  In fact, I'm frequently composing them in my head.  It's just that, at the end of the day, I can't bring myself to do it.

I think I can attribute some of my inactivity to a brief upsurge in depressive symptoms.  Which is something that I have been having all kinds of internal debate about whether or not to post to my blog.  Most of the people who are the very closest to me know that I've struggled with depression for most of my life.  But this isn't something I've previously shared with the rest of the world.  There are a lot of complicated reasons why that is the case, but the biggest reason is the stigma that is still attached to admitting that you have something as terrible and shameful as depression.  As a mental health professional, I recognize the inanity of bowing to that stigma in my own personal life, but the fact remains.  And as a mental health professional whose co-workers occasionally read my blog, I've been a little worried about putting it out there on the internet.  But there it is.  I have depression.  To be more specific, Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent. 

The last year has actually been pretty good.  I've worked really hard to find the right combination of medications and activities to help me keep things under control.  I've had a lot of help and support in finding the right tools and doing the work I need to do.  But, unfortunately, that doesn't mean that I'm not subject to the occasional relapse in symptoms.   And, oddly enough, when I start feeling bad, I stop doing a lot of the things that bring me satisfaction.  Apparently blogging is among those things that goes when I'm feeling worse.  But along with trying to get a couple of miles of walking in at least three or four times a week, I'm trying to get back in the saddle of working on the blog.